The Kama Blog
What's on your mind?
Science-based advice. Shame free. Tap what's on your mind and start learning.
Relationships
11 questions to ask your partner about intimacy
Most issues in relationships are connected to communication challenges. Eleven questions to take in turns asking each other.
Mind & Body
7 questions about where you are in your intimate life
Seven questions to meet yourself where you are. These are the questions we ask in the Kama quiz. There is no right answer.
Pleasure & Orgasm
Anal Pleasure, Without Pain: Relaxation, Consent, and the In & Out Technique
Anal sex should not be painful, not even a little. With relaxation, arousal, consent, and the In and Out technique, the anus is one of the most pleasurable places on the body.
Pleasure & Orgasm
Can an orgasm be more than a release?
Orgasm is built into the system as a release. But pleasure can also be built, held and spread through the whole body. Here is how that shift works.
Relationships
How can I build intimacy outside of sex?
The way we relate to our sexual experiences is based on the quality of the intimacy. Intimacy is what happens before penetration.
Pleasure & Orgasm
How Can I Feel More Sensation During Sex?
Reduced sensation is not a fixed state. It is something the body learned. Here is what causes it and how resensitisation works.
Your Practice
How Can I Last Longer in Bed and Feel More?
Lasting longer is not about shutting down. It is about feeling more. Here is how edging, the breath, and the pelvic floor work together to expand what is possible.
Relationships
How do I keep sexual tension alive in a long-term relationship?
Sexual tension is practical, not abstract. It is being aware of the space between you and refusing to collapse it through thoughtless touch.
Mind & Body
How do I know what my body actually wants?
Learning to feel the difference between a yes and a no in your body, before any words are spoken, is the foundation of everything. This is embodied consent.
Mind & Body
How do I learn to feel more in my body?
So much of our life is conditioned by external validation. The resources for wellbeing and pleasure come from living in our bodies, and less in our heads.
Mind & Body
How Do I Stop Getting in My Head During Sex?
Spectatoring is watching yourself have sex from the outside. To stay out of your head, bring the body in: sensualising, the pelvic floor, synchronised breath, three points of contact.
Mind & Body
How to Be More Present During Intimacy
Because of the constant mental stimulation we experience in everyday life, having ways to come back to the body is essential. Here is how to build that.
Relationships
How to bring desire back
When one partner stops wanting sex, it is rarely about desire disappearing. It is about what has built up in the space between you, and what happens when you remove the pressure.
Mind & Body
How to feel more sensation?
It is not just sexual desensitisation, it is sensorial desensitisation. Resensitisation allows you to expand pleasure so that you are not distracted by a thought.
Your Practice
How to Increase Libido
Desire does not always come first. Arousal is a physical experience that can be triggered through touch and breath. Here is how to keep the system active.
Science & Method
Is pleasure actually good for my health?
Pleasure is an essential function designed to bring the system back to balance. It is the fastest route to homeostasis, and it is free.
Mind & Body
Is Sexual Shame Stopping Me From Feeling Pleasure?
Shame arrives as a thought and pulls you out of your body. Understanding where it comes from, and how to work with it, is where the practice begins.
Relationships
Oral Sex and Fingering as the Art of Attention
The vagina is not just a hole but a complex pleasure network. Oral sex and fingering are an art that requires attention, patience, and keeping the receiver out of their head.
Relationships
Own Your Mirrors
Taking responsibility for the way we make other people feel is a path into healing ourselves, cultivating kindness, and keeping the heart open.
Pleasure & Orgasm
Penetration as a Two-Way Conversation: Friction Sex vs Suction Sex
We often think of penetration as a fast, one-directional act. Reframing it as suction sex, using the vagina or anus like a mouth, is one of the most impactful changes you can make.
Mind & Body
Reconnecting With Your Body After Having a Baby
There is almost nowhere to go for honest guidance on sexuality during and after pregnancy. Silence carries its own message. Here is what that silence leaves out.
Mind & Body
Sexual energy is Life force
Just as stress is a barrier to pleasure, pleasure is a remedy to stress. Here is what is actually happening in the body, and how to work with it.
Your Practice
Should I Squeeze or Push My Pelvic Floor During Sex?
Squeezing up concentrates sensation. Pushing down lowers arousal so you can build again. These are two different tools, and knowing the difference changes what is possible.
Relationships
The Best Blowjob Is the One You Enjoy Giving
Knowing that the giver is having a good time is the number one criteria of satisfaction for the receiver. Start with embodied consent, then the mechanics follow.
Science & Method
What Happens in the Brain During Pleasure
A pleasure pathway is a neural pathway. Every time you experience pleasure consciously, you are reinforcing a route in the nervous system. This is what the practice is building.
Your Practice
What happens when you look at your own body in the mirror?
The gaze is an armor. Looking at yourself with positive intention repairs it. The mirror practice is one of the simplest practices with the biggest impact.
Your Practice
What Is My Pelvic Floor and Why Does It Matter for Pleasure?
Your pelvic floor is your sex muscle. Here is how to use it, not just strengthen it.
Your Practice
What is resensitisation?
Resensitisation is the practice of bringing sensation back to the body where it has been lost. It uses breath, touch, and sound, point by point.
Pleasure & Orgasm
What Is Squirting, and How Do You Let It Happen?
Squirting is not a party trick. It is a practice of relaxation and arousal, built on letting go of the fear of peeing and learning the Kama Push.
Pleasure & Orgasm
What is the CUV complex?
The clitoris, urethra and vagina work together as one connected structure, the CUV complex. Understanding it changes how pleasure feels.
Your Practice
What Type of Breathing Is Good for Sex and Pleasure?
Breath is the number one tool for pleasure. When we hold our breath at the moment something good is happening, sensation narrows instead of expands. Here is what to do instead.
Relationships
When You and Your Partner Have Different Sex Drives
Mismatched arousal is common in long-term relationships. It is a sign that something needs to shift in the intimacy. Here is how to talk about it, and how to change the way you approach sex.
Mind & Body
Where is your attention during sex?
During sex, the attention can go in many directions. The experience happens when we are present. Here are some places attention tends to land.
Your Practice
Why a Daily Breast Massage Belongs in Your Routine
The breasts are an under-explored pleasure zone and a point of connection with the body. A daily breast massage takes only a few minutes, and all you need is your hands.
Science & Method
Why Are So Many People Having Less Sex and Pleasure Than Ever?
We have desensitized ourselves from touch, smell, and taste. We have over-indexed in mind. Here is what that costs, and what changes it.
Pleasure & Orgasm
Why Can't I Orgasm With My Partner?
Orgasm with a partner starts with knowing your own body. Here is what solo practice actually builds, and why that knowledge is what you bring into the room.
Science & Method
Why Did Ancient Cultures Treat Sexual Energy as Medicine?
Sexuality is our life force. The only energy we can self-create. Taoism and Tantra knew this. Here is what that means for practice.
Pleasure & Orgasm
Why Do I Experience Pain During Sex?
As many as 75% of those with vulvas experience pain during sex at some point. Pain is information, not something to accept. Here is how to work with it through breath, touch, and sound.
Your Practice
Why does making sound increase pleasure?
The face and the voice are connected to the pelvis. When one releases, the other follows. Here is why letting sound out changes what the body can feel.
Science & Method
Why Five Minutes of Daily Pleasure Practice Changes Your Brain
A pleasure pathway is a neural pathway. Here is what daily practice is actually building, and why frequency matters more than duration.
Pleasure & Orgasm
Why Is Female Desire So Misunderstood?
Female desire has never been properly taught. The anatomy is larger than the map, the potential is unparalleled, and none of it has been explained to us.
Pleasure & Orgasm
Why is there an orgasm gap?
The orgasm gap is not biological. It is cultural and educational. When you understand the anatomy and give the body the time it needs, access changes.
Your Practice
Why Should I Change the Way I Masturbate?
How you masturbate is how you train yourself for sex. The shift from release to exploration changes what pleasure can become.