Engaging the pelvic floor during sex is one of my most frequent invitation. This group of muscles are often never trained, yet they are responsible for our orgasms. Learning to squeeze, and push the pelvic floor is your number one tip for more present, and pleasurable sex.

Most people have heard of Kegel exercises, which involve squeezing the pelvic floor upward. That squeeze does something real: it increases sensation and pulls attention toward the genitals. But it also moves arousal toward a peak. If you want to last longer, build toward stronger orgasms, or stay present longer without releasing, the squeeze alone is not enough.

The other direction is the push. The muscles you use to increase urinary flow can also be pushed outward, downward. When arousal rises toward the point of no return, pushing the pelvic floor and breathing deeply into the lower belly lowers that arousal temporarily. The sensation spreads rather than peaks. You can start building again.

Try this

As many of these practices require privacy, which might not be immediately available, I invite you to simply imagine the practice. Visualise, sensualise, how you would do this practice, and what it would feel like.

The push when you reach the edge

I invite you to try this during solo practice. As arousal rises and you feel the body moving toward release, take a deep breath into the lower belly and push your pelvic floor outward, as if gently increasing your urinary stream. Let the exhale be slow and full. Notice how the arousal settles. Then begin building again.

Repeat this two or three times before releasing. Each time, let the breath and the push do the work. This is yours to return to.

Science check

The pelvic floor directly influences the sympathetic nervous system response that drives ejaculation. A conscious exhale with a downward release interrupts that reflex arc, redistributing arousal rather than building to a single peak.

Sexual response and the autonomic nervous system , Basson, R. (2002). A model of women's sexual arousal. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. / Masters, W.H. & Johnson, V.E. (1966). Human Sexual Response.