Own Your Mirrors

At one point in life it is good to take responsibility for the way we make other people feel. Not as a burden, but as a path into healing ourselves, cultivating kindness, and keeping the heart open.

There is a distortion on both sides

The reason you or I or anyone triggers another person is because there is something in them that gets touched just by our energy, our words, or the way we are. And usually this is something that is distorted on both sides.

The way you act is not what you necessarily mean, but it comes across a particular way because you are carrying things from the past, where this attitude, the way you present yourself, was a defense mechanism, a protection. Something that could have been protective becomes something that lands differently on someone else. I am shy. I do not like to share my energy too much. I have not really changed. I am still working with this. I still trigger people. Sometimes I do not even notice that it is happening. The work is to bring more awareness and responsibility around the way you make other people feel, as a reflection of your own attunement.

Everything in life is for us to find the map deeper into ourselves

It is easy to be okay on your own. Meditation, silent things, it clears you, it clears the mind, it clears the psyche of the noise. But the truth about us is always revealed in relationships, in the way that other people feel around us.

Everything in life is just for us to find the map deeper into ourselves, to see some of the blind spots, and shift anything that we feel we need to, through the eyes of others. Every time you notice someone reacts to you by you just being you, there may be an opportunity to see: what is that? Is it something you could adjust so that you can make more people feel comfortable? This is the idea of energetic peace, energetic safety, energetic kindness, so that there is more peace in the world, if we all pay more attention and we are more kind to each other.

Have a radar

The idea is to have a radar, an intuitive notion that when you walk into a space, when you talk to someone new, when someone is sharing something vulnerable, you are extra aware of your own energy, of how welcoming and loving it might be. Be more intentional with how you show up.

It takes a moment to evaluate the situation so that you can adjust and remember: maybe that is going to be triggering. Let me try something new.

How can you help others keep their heart open?

What I have learned by practicing this: trying to make other people feel better while being truthful, but finding a way to tell the truth that can be heard and received in the heart before it gets triggered somewhere and the heart shuts down. How can you help others keep their heart open as they hear the truth?

In the work I do with my clients, it is so important for me to have kindness because I want to be able to show them the truth that I see, and be very transparent with what comes up in the moment. I have to create a really safe and loving environment so that we can go so much faster in the learnings, because I am trying to hold space also for the triggers that my words might create. I think it is a way to move into a higher level of connection and intimacy, and connection with life in general.

This is about self-love

At the end, what I have realized is that this is about self-love. You can do it by doing what is good for your body, that is a form of self-love. But another form of self-love is to keep your heart open, to be aware that your heart is channeling love for others, to be able to surrender a little so that they can communicate things that are more vulnerable.

It is really a practice and it is not right or wrong. It is just something that I think we can engage with a little bit more.