There is often a lot of tension held in the throat and jaw during sex. We manage our expression and contain our sounds, presenting a version of ourselves rather than fully inhabiting the experience. Sound is one of the most effective way to communicate pleasure to your own body, and to your partner. Learning to be more authentically expressive during sex allows for deeper intimacy.

The face and the pelvis are connected

When the face relaxes and the voice releases, the pelvis tends to follow. (here talk about the fascia line that connects tongue and pelvic floor as well as the vagus nerve, and vegal toning. we can also talk about sound communicating through the human body which is mostly water.

Fake it till you make it

While faking pleasure or orgasms is not recommended, it is recommended to be more intentional with our sounds, exploring how our own voice can be a tool for deeper surrender, connection, and excitation.

Moaning and verbal cues are the most effective tool to guide your partner towards what you want. When you take responsibility for your pleasure, you give more freedom to your partner for them to also focus on their process, instead of performing.

Try this

Try it before intimacy, or any time you feel contracted.

The Kali face

Sit or stand in front of a mirror. Begin with a few deep breaths, letting each exhale come out through the mouth, audible and without effort.

On your next exhale, open the mouth wide. Let the tongue come out. Let the eyes open fully. Make a sound, anything that wants to come.

Hold the expression for a few seconds, then release. Take a breath, and again: mouth open, tongue out, eyes wide, sound. Let it be bigger than feels comfortable.

Do this five to ten times. Each time, notice what the face wants to do underneath the expression you usually wear. It may want to cry, to laugh, to roar. Let it.

Science check

Vocalization on the exhale, including humming, activates the vagus nerve and shifts the autonomic system toward the parasympathetic state. The pelvic floor releases more readily when the whole system is in that state.

Voice and the nervous system , Trivedi, G. et al. (2023). Humming (Simple Bhramari Pranayama) as a Stress Buster: A Holter-Based Study to Analyze Heart Rate Variability (HRV) Parameters During Bhramari, Physical Activity, Emotional Stress, and Sleep. Cureus, 15(4), e37527.