In a lot of mainstream porn, squirting is portrayed with a huge quantity of fluid and a lot of theatrics. In reality there are many different ways to squirt, and most of it comes down to relaxation, arousal, and letting go.
Not a party trick
Squirting is largely misunderstood as a party trick. It is an embodied practice of surrender and release. At Kama we see it as an important part of the female pleasure system: it helps release shame, reach deeper levels of relaxation, and feel more internal sensations and orgasms.
Everyone with a vulva can squirt. For some it happens by accident, for others it is a natural process, and for many it can seem out of reach. Often the pressure to squirt is what stops us from experiencing it. You have to be really aroused and relaxed for it to happen, so it helps to ditch expectations for how it should look and explore your pleasure instead.
What it actually is
Squirt is a liquid that comes from the bladder and exits via the urethra. The quantity, pressure, and texture can vary a lot, from a few drops to half a cup. It is very common to squirt during sex without realising it has happened, and to find a large wet patch underneath you when you finish.
Pee, not pee, that should not be a concern while practising. We will leave it up to you to decide what you want to call it. What matters more is how it makes you feel.
The Kama Push
Squirting can happen through external stimulation, but for a lot of people internal stimulation of the urethral sponge, the g-spot, is needed. This kind of stimulation can make you feel aroused and like you need to pee at the same time. At this stage it is important to let go of any shame or fear of peeing, and push to release.
This might feel counterintuitive, but it is how squirting happens. When you feel the urge to pee through stimulation of the g-spot area, use your pelvic floor, the muscles you use to increase the urinary stream, to give a gentle push. Breathe deeply into your belly. Let go completely.
Squirting can be both voluntary and involuntary. It can happen without our control, and we can also hold back from it by squeezing and pulling with the pelvic floor as we feel the sensation of peeing.
Set yourself up to let it flow
When learning to squirt, it helps to have your body in a relaxed and aroused state. Make sure to be warm, keep your socks on if you can, very hydrated, and avoid caffeine and highly sugared drinks beforehand.
The best position to learn is when your torso is vertical, so you have easier access to the areas that need stimulation. This can mean sitting on the edge of the bathtub, standing in the shower, or squatting if that is more comfortable. These positions allow more blood flow to travel towards your genitals, and make the Kama Push easier because gravity is in your favour. Keep some freedom in your hips in whichever position you choose. It is important to get the whole body involved, not just the fingers.
The emotions that come with it
There are many emotions and sensations you may encounter as you begin. Anger, shame, a burning sensation, sadness, are all typical feelings that may arise. Do not judge these feelings. Instead, connect to where in your body you are feeling them the most, and use your voice to express them.
Learning to squirt is also about unlocking pleasure that has not been allowed before. As children we used to express our pain spontaneously. As we get older, we learn to suppress our feelings. Voicing is a huge part of releasing pain and connecting with pleasure: the more you can liberate your voice to let go of your pain, the more freedom you will find to liberate your pleasure.
Squirting can happen at the same time as orgasm or independently of it, with or without pleasure. Any of these combinations is normal. The higher the arousal, the more likely it is that squirting will come with pleasure and orgasm. If you have a vulva, you can squirt.